Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Seven Things You Didn't Really Want to Know About Me, but I'm Telling You Anyway.

LYRIC O’ THE DAY:
Expectations only mean you really think you know what’s coming next
And you don’t.
--These Important Years, Husker Du
I am totally honored to have been chosen for some delicious blog awards.  First, from Alynza at The Write Journey is the Irresistibly Sweet Blog Award AND a Versatile Blogger award.  I want to eat the first one, and then write a dissertation of the existential plight of man while changing the oil on my Jeep with the other.  Because I'm versatile.  I also received the Versatile Blogger from S.B. at Writing the Other, so I was doubly versatiled.  I am finally receiving recognition for my ability to multitask!  No longer can people give me grief when I call them while in the bathroom.



As part of the tithe for these bits of glory, I am supposed to share seven things about me and then pass the torch to five other bloggers.  Doing this exercise made me realize that I need to start doing some interesting things with my days, because I'm a little vanilla here.
    Seven Things about me:

    1.  When I cut things, I unconsciously move my jaw up and down with each bite of the scissors.  I can’t stop myself and it drives people crazy.  Once I made a set of paper dinosaurs for my son and had lockjaw for three days afterwards.
    2.  I was going to be a theater major until a bizarre little man who resembled Beetlejuice (aka my college advisor) talked me out of it.  Now I can only reminisce about my high school performance as Abigail in The Crucible.  I was the state of Nebraska's best actress in Class B in 1989, by the gods!  I coulda been a contender!  Consider yourself fortunate for my misstep on the career pathway, Winona Ryder.
    I saw Goody Proctor with the Devil!!
    3.  I am irrationally afraid of clowns, which stems from watching Poltergeist at too young an age.  The hospital where I work has a clown day once a month, and every freaking time I end up trapped on the elevator with them.  They try to talk to me and all I can do is punch the button frantically and whimper.  I don’t think there’s a diagnosis code for “clown-related psychosis.”  I can't even post a picture of my fear, so instead I offer fuzzy baby kittens:





    4.  I nearly died as a baby from Rh disease, also known as hemolytic disease of the newborn.  Basically my mother formed antibodies to my blood.  I was born premature at the University, hospitalized for transfusions and got septic with E.coli.  I know this because I found my hospital records on microfiche when I got into the University medical school.  I never knew before that.  And I've felt lucky to be alive ever since.  Also might explain my vampire fixation.
    5.  I love high heels.  I arrange them by amounts of time I can stand wearing them.  Thick platform heels are the best for work, those are usually my 12 hour heels.  The others all vary between 6 and 10 hour heels.  Flats steal my power.
      My favorite heels.  These are all 12 hour babies.
      6.  I know how to can.  As in preserve vegetables for posterity.  Every year I make sauces, salsa, and pickled things.  When the zombie apocalypse comes, I will be quite comfortable in my underground bunker.
      7.  I worked construction with my dad for two summers when I was in college.  One of my jobs was to be “the vibrator girl.”  This involves a large canister vacuum-looking device with a wand on the end that--you guessed it--vibrates.  You plunge said wand into wet cement in order to vibrate out the holes of air that may be trapped.  It’s much less erotic than it sounds.


      Judging by this picture the construction tool business is not above sexual exploitation.




      40 comments:

      1. Thanks, Julie. I'll try and post these later this week with my answers. Heh, versatile I think I got down, but I don't think anyone but my husband thinks I'm irrestistably sweet. ;o)

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      2. Clowns are creepy! Don't watch Killer Clowns From Outer Space - it will turn you into a quivery pile of goo.

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      3. Not vanilla at all! More like Rocky Road, sweet and nutty. Congrats on the awards.

        And, no, I can't believe you can wear those heels for twelve hours. Wow.

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      4. Ha ha! Vibrator girl...I can't stop laughing!

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      5. Nice heels! I stopped wearing them when my kids would outrun me because I couldn't run in heels. Ah, I do love shoes!

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      6. I LOVE this post! It's funny becasue whenever I play the piano I hold my breath and I seriously can't help it! I was also almost a theater major and I was in the crucible in high school. Guess we have a lot in common :)

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      7. 'When I cut things, I unconsciously move my jaw up and down with each bite of the scissors.'

        That is a truly endearing quirk.

        And vibrator girl sounds way the hell erotic.

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      8. THANK YOU!! I honored to be so awarded by such an esteemed gypsy soul! :) :) I will post my answers soon....Must. Think....

        PS I have a couple of friends who hate clowns as well. Hmmmm....

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      9. Great list Julie.

        Clowns fear or at least avoidance seems to be the norm now. I bet your collegues can have some real fun pranking you about the painted face ones though.

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      10. Thank you so much! I'm very honored! :)

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      11. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
        You totally made my week, my month, heck, even my year.
        Your lists were totally great, too. I'm feeling a little intimidated, not even lying, don't know if I can live up to them. Especially the anecdote about cutting. And canning is awesome- if I had that skill, I'd be set, yo!
        Seriously, thanks - it's an honor to be given an award by someone you admire so much.

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      12. Those heels are awesome!

        And I want 'vibrator girl' on my C.V :-)

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      13. No.3 - Try punching the clown instead of the elevator button - kill or cure I say :-)
        Di
        X

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      14. PS: Extremely well deserved awards I must say!!!

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      15. The jaw thing would get on my nerves, but I hum when I do everything. You would have been an excellent actress, and poltergeist scared the heck out of me. You had the RH disease too...and we were both premies. I can't handle heel, brave gir. When zombie apocalypse comes I'll be banging on your door. LOL, love the "vibrator girl"..shake it up. Congrats on the award. :)

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      16. Clowns ARE scary!

        I can't wear heels. I fall over. ;)

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      17. Vibrator girl...LOL

        THOSE are your 12 hour heels! OMG, I don't think I could last an hour in them. I'm a barefoot gal :)

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      18. LOL! Number 7 had me rolling! I also find clowns creepy. Who ever thought them up in the first place has a sick sense of humor!

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      19. Julie, you are so awesomely funny!

        XD Congrats on the awards!
        (I'm with you on creepy clows. *shudder*)

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      20. Oh I meant CLOWNS, not clows. Stupid fingers. :P

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      21. Wow. All that stuff, no wonder you got the versatile blogger award! I also love heels, can't walk in flats at all.

        Congratulations on the awards. :)

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      22. Those are some incredible heels for 12 hours!

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      23. Julie, Nos 1 and 3 made me laugh. Sorry. I never thought I'd be grateful for only licking my lips when I'm concentrating hard.

        I've never heard of anybody else who arranged their shoes as you do. You've very, very unique.

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      24. love those new tidbits about you!
        especially the heels and cutting =)
        you're human =)

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      25. Wow! Very interesting seven things, vibrator girl!
        And also, I wonder why you were never told about your struggling start as a baby! What a surprise to find out years later!
        Love the heels. I can only wear thick ones.

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      26. I don't like clowns either, but I think it's hilarious that you "chew" as you use scissors. Congratulations on two (TWO) blog awards!

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      27. You guys are great! I think all clown-haters should unite. And "Vibrator Girl" will be the name of my memoir.

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      28. Entertaining post! I love cats, but those kittens are a little too fuzzy even for me. Heels? I'd fall off every one of those pairs. (I'm getting a nosebleed just thinking about them...) How interesting to have learned of your infant health issues so many years after the fact. I'm guessing that discovery makes for good writing fodder. And speaking of fodder, one summer, a seriously dangerous sociopath descended on (i.e., was hired by) a nonprofit where I was working on-site as a consultant. His arrival and presence affected all of us in chilling ways. One of my co-workers had a bad dream one night, reminiscent of what you shared here. She was trapped in an elevator with a clown, and the clown WAS the sociopath.

        As for your opening quote, reminds me of a definition I once learned. Expectation: premeditated resentment. Ain't that the truth!

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      29. The vibrator girl, that made me laugh! And I'm glad you survived your brush with illness when you were a baby.

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      30. Hey congrats on your award! And so sorry for your fear of clowns. I got pretty freaked out when I saw the movie IT.

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      31. Wow you kind of have the most awesome life ever. You can actually say one of your jobs was to be a Vibrator Girl?! That's humor gold! Lol.

        Congrats on these fab awards. xo

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      32. congrats on the awards. I hope they fit on your mantle or wherever you keep your internet awards. I need to cancel that singing clown telegram I sent you now.

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      33. Vibrator Girl - LOL. Love your shoes. Actually I love most shoes. Alas, after breaking my ankle a few years ago I was told I shouldn't wear beauties like those ever again. Sigh. But you should see my flip flop collection :)

        Happy Weekend!

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      34. Thanks for dropping by my blog and I'm so pleased I returned the favour. Love your 7 random facts - I have major respect on the heels. Anything over 1 inch and I topple over! Thankfully my hubby is same ht so this is a good thing. Sure there is a great joke re the vibrator, but probably couldn't write it here! Def a new follower :)

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      35. Weird. I know I read your post before now. I guess I'm not as on top of things as I thought I was. Congrats on all your awards, it means people like you. That always has to feel good.

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      36. Looking forward to your picks for the blogfest on Monday!

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      37. I just love reading your posts. I can tell flats steal your power. I think you stop magically glowing at a lower height.

        The scissors thing is fun. I have to try that on you, and the whole time I'll chant:

        "Be the scissors. You ARE the scissors."

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      38. I was the vibrator girl one summer in Bangkok. It's an experience I would rather not relive.

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      39. You are a wonderfully multifaceted lady.

        That's pretty amazing that you didn't find out about your birth complications until med school.

        I'm pretty neutral regarding clowns but it seems most, like you, are freaked out by them. Can you take the stairs next time they visit?

        xoRobyn

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      40. PTM--Too late. I'm in an asylum thanks to your telegram.

        Rusty--I feel like Sally Field getting the Oscar.

        Lydia--I will cut you. With my scissors. Unless you wire my jaw shut, then I will be rendered powerless.

        Katie, Angela, and Robyn--I thought it was weird my folks never really told me about the whole ordeal--I knew I had to go to "a big hospital" to be born and that I got a blood transfusion, but didn't know why so when it was all laid out in black and white, it was really shocking. It's funny, when I talked to my mom, she said "They said you were sick. When you got out of the hospital, they told us to love you a lot because you were lucky." I always think about that when I talk to patients now--making sure people understand just how sick "sick" is.

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